Saturday, 23 October 2010


hello all :)
i'm jh & fq's new 'friend' (i use the term loosely :P) - and they've been lovely and agreed to let me write on their amazing blog! so i suppose we should get a little acquanited first, so a bit about me;
  • i love fashion
  • i want to work at vogue
  • i love creative writing
  • i am an idealist
  • i play piano
i suppose that is enough for now, but there is plenty of time to know more.

i will try and write my first proper post sometime this week as i'm still geting to grips with blogspot :s


Sunday, 12 September 2010

new writer...

 myself and fq have recently developed social skills and made a new friend who you can call ac, she will also be writing on this blog as often as she can :) enjoy

jh x


kay - getting back into routine is always difficult but when its something you dislike as much as school then its never going to be fun, however when its something as great as writing a blog (:P) then im sure getting back into routine will be just fine. After a summer of relaxing, having nothing to do and going on holiday, the shock of having to do hmwk and having no spare time is pretty overwhelming on the other hand its not summer anymore - no more sticky sun cream, sweating or embarressing skimpy outfits anymore instead we get to wear more interesting stuff, drink hot drinks without having to eat an ice cube afterwards and actually sleep under thee covers. yh unlike most people i love autumn, like winter and spring and hate summer.partly cus the sun gives me headaches. but anyway autumn is here and so is the winter fall collection. 
new season = new clothes to die over, some of my favourites this season are :
miu miu :

burberry :

(at the bottom of the pic it gives you alternative views - click on number 4 - its my favourite)

(absolutely beautiful - again on alternative viws click 3)

(kay - ive given u my favourites but it will take forever to put links on for all the ones that i love so heres a link 4 u to just have a look at all of them :)

there are many others including chanel, christian dior, chloe, louis vuitton vanessa bruno and john galliano just to name a few.

jh  - x

Sunday, 11 July 2010

We look for ourselves, in others.

Don't we?

Just think about it. When your friend talks about something that you realise is the same for you, you just can't stop yourself from squealing, announcing "I do that too!"

And, when we meet people we don't immediately discuss our differences, we look for common ground - places of mutual interest.

We even, look to see if others share our same insecurities - so we don't feel alone.

When it comes to fashion, if I like something that someones wearing, I will always imagine myself in it first. That doesn't mean I don't like things I wouldn't personally wear because most of the time I still think they look great or incredibly creative - I just don't have that immediate 'wow, I love that' exclamation- it's more of a 'hmmm, nice!'

Although, I value uniqueness and having your own sense of style I can't stop myself to comparing others to me and comparing myself to others. It's just the way my brain works. I have realised, in the last two years, that JH and I are unbelievably similar and although I've only known her for a short while it's seems like I've known her forever. And maybe that is because we are so similar, that our views so rarely clash that we never see the need to fight and we can talk for hours on end without disagreeing about something.

But, at the same time I always say how I could never be friends with myself because I know my own weaknesses and bad points so well. And this makes me notice how JH doesn't actually share any of these bad points. I can be annoying, and I don't find her annoying. I can be bitchy, but she always moves away when she thinks a conversation is going to be bitchy.

Therefore, I think that looking for ourselves in others is a good thing - it's how we find the best friends.

- FQ x

Sunday, 4 July 2010

I don't know what the point of this is....

"First is the worst, second is the best."

The words of a deluded fool, in my opinion.
Or you could say, just a person stung by the undescriable feeling of second best, trying to find anyway to make their (better) opponent feel less pride in their achievement.

I'd rather be last, than second best.
But why? A merit must be better than a pass, right?
It's not a distinction - but it's still better.

That makes perfect sense. If you're one mark off a A, at least you can say "I was only one mark off a A" - you're only competing with yourself, it's only your mark.

But when you come second compared to someone else, it hurts. No matter how happy you are for that person, you'll naturally be envious, upset and would be questioning your own ability.

I know the feeling well, which is partly my own fault. After parent teacher evening this year, my parents have decided to help me more and to 'keep an eye on my work'. Well no, 'not keep an eye, exactly. It's just to help you'. Yeah. Because what every teacher said (bearing in mind the teachers they saw were from my worst subjects) was that 'I didn't apply myself'. Apparently, I'm pretty intelligent and have the ability to be top of the class. But I didn't seem to care, or want to strech myself.

One teacher even mentioned my best friend - Layla. "You know Layla Mayor? Her close friend? Yes? Well, she did better than Fizza because she revised and is always focused. Fizza has the natural ability to be a great linguist, she just doesn't care."

It's true. Layla does better than me in pretty much everything. I'm used to it now, but I guess it used to get to me a little. But, as she has said and everyone says to me, I have the ability to do as well as her - I just don't make the most of that.

But...what if I don't? I think ability and intelligence are different things. Yes, Layla has the intelligence to do well - but she also has the ability to apply herself, focus and revise. I on the other hand, find it hard to do all of those three things.

So maybe, I should just get used to second best. I basically am, by now. Even my little brother (two years younger) could do high school level maths much better than me (and my dad).

I don't feel there's any subject I really excel at. Maybe English, maybe Religious Studies, maybe History. But still - not really. Most people still do better than me. I like taking photos - but my friends are so much better at it. I like writing - but my friends are so much better at it. I like debating - but my friends are so much more informed and always, urm, 'own' me. I like music - but my friends know so much more about it and are so much better at it.

I like dressing up. I like fashion. But I'm not better at that than my friends, seeing as what's 'nice' when it comes to clothing is really in the eye of the beholder.

So yeah, I'm not really amazing at anything. I'm alright at a couple of things. I suck at a few things.

But I can live with that and I accept that. I don't mean to fish for compliments, and I don't mean to sound like I think I'm stupid - I don't. I just know that I haven't (yet) found my special talent or as I spoke about before ( my 'USP'.

Afterall, seeing as I hang out with such a talented bunch of people being second, or third, or fourth best is pretty much expected!

- FQ x

Saturday, 3 July 2010

mad money ...

when seeing a nice outfit or planning a night out but finding that you just dont have the money, what are you supposed to do ??? well the first answer would be raise the money but no one really wants to give money to a charity that only benefits one person, well, how that said person is dressed anyway. so thats out of the question but there is still the question of how are you going to get the money? Well, get a job. The only problem is, there are always restictions. For example selling avon cataogues - you must be 18, this applies for most non qualification jobs and there arent many, for most jobs you have to have qualifications anyway. Of course there is the typical washing cars and car boot sales but in all honesty that doesnt make a lot of money at all! So if you were planning a weekend away in london (hypothetically, of course *wink wink* ) then the twenty pounds that you raaise from washing cars really isnt going to get you far. The point is, many people are restricted from getting jobs because of age or ability or even gender which isnt fair because many people might need the money for things a lot more serious than a weekend in london. Yes, okay i know that we are just coming out of a recession and the credit crunch is still hitting people hard and dont get me wrong i do respect that, my own parents have been affected, but there is always a way of making a few a couple of hundred quid, if you are over 18 of course.
There are restrictions everywhere, for example fashion restricts what you can and cant wear. For example it just ISNT acceptable in the fashion worlds eyes to walk out the house wearing clothes from a few seasons ago but it is acceptable by fashion to come out wearing shorts that replace pants and a bra over your top - basically in underwear. Sometimes there aren't perhaps enough restrictions especially if no one but your nan says anything when a nicker-flashing-mini-skirt is worn, because basically its slutty, indecent and doesnt even look very good but the wearer will get away with it because its supposedly fashionable.

just a short post that came to mind walking down the street
 - jh xox

Sunday, 20 June 2010

You Need a U.S.P. + Friendship Politics

I know what you're thinking,
a what? 

It stands for 'unique selling point'.

Something that's different about you, that really stands out. 

This came up the other day, when talking to my brother about him simply HAVING to take up a hobbie. We've been trying for years, trust me. It's gone from trying to get him to play tennis, starting guitar lessons at school, forcing him into Judo classess and countless attempts at playing football outside of just kicking a ball about at breaktime.

All have failed, absolutely misarebly.

So sitting in a coffee shop, my sister and I tried to convince him to find his 'USP' as my sister called it.

"What's different about you? What stands out? What are people going to think, 'wow I wish I could do that!' about you?"

He protested. Apparently being amazing at 'COD' is an acceptable USP in his eyes.

In the end we decided on a street dancing group. I offered to go along with him, put my sister protested.

"This has be his thing Fizz, his USP."

So, it's all about being unique. Having something special about you. This is, ignoring the fact that thousands of young people across the country attend street dancing classes.

We couldn't say our USP was being able to create a tower out of matchsticks because although it may be unique it's "too unique." It's doesn't fit into being a 'USP', whereas playing tennis does.

New ideas for blog posts pop into my head everyday, there's something I feel I just have to write about. But, when I think about it almost a quarter of them are to do with individuality, but at the same time, fitting in.

Maybe it's because of how old I am. At thirteen, going on fourteen, it's almost what my life is about at the moment.

Although I want to be my own person, there's something stopping me. Partly, it's my friends and ridiculously, even more so, my peers. And because of this, I don't really know who I am yet.

I attend a relatively small secondary school, with 800+ pupils (this is not including the boys school, which would make the total 1500+) and although this is not massive it is by no means minute.

 I don't know over half the people than attend my school - possibly over three quarters. However, I'm still scared about coming across 'too weird' or 'too stupid' infront of them, even if I'm never going to talk to them.

Infront of my friends, however, I should be totally at peace with being myself - you say? Well, not really. JH is probably the only friend I have at this point in time I'm not scared saying stuff that others would pass of as 'gay' and can give her all my true opinions without considering I may come across as 'pushy' because she doesn't see (or chooses to ignore the faults in me) and I do the same back to her.

I should surrond myself with friends like that, but it's hard. Don't get my wrong, I love my current friendship group and while they're good for a laugh and we share secrets there are too many 'friendship politics' and I'm sick of it. Its all about saying the right things, or knowing when to give my point of view without upsetting someone, or even knowing what I should say my point of view is (even when I don't really think it).

But sometimes I get it wrong.

I'm thirteen, for gods sake. I'm not going to be perfect. I'll say things that sound stupid, my friends and I will have conflicting view points, I'll fight my point of view but the problem is one thing I say can be blown totally out of proportion - even by the best of friends.

I never know what to think, what to say and when to say it. What opinions are prejudiced and which are uncalled for. When I should mind my own business, and when I was wrong for not backing someone up. It seems that speaking your mind is not poltically correct.

Another problem, is that people want to be a 'name'. Year 7? Eurgh, that wannabe annoying girl. Year 8? Oh yeah, there's that girl with the orange skin and the one who said that horrible thing about the orange skin girl. Year 9? The one with the bleach blonde hair and her sidekick with the dark eyeliner. The list goes on.

It seems to me that everyone thinks they're 'different' and their friends are just 'so weird' which of course means no one is 'different', or 'weird'. I notice this most in the people with 'names', the 'popular' crowd. Because, as much as they say they are, they're not different in my eyes.

It's all about being individual, but at the same time being cool and fitting in. It's like being 'indie'. It's all about standing out, or really, blending in with all the other 'indie kids' out there.

They say the most unique people are the most well known, but I'd disagree. I'd say the girls who get 100% in every test, wear Gap hoodies and tracksuits to non-uniform day (just because it's more practical for doing lunchtime sports clubs) and are completely invisible are the most unique. But why?

Because they don't care. They are in no way mixed up with school/friendship politics, they are always happy and most of all comfortable in their own skin. They don't care about what other people think of them, and because of this people don't bother thinking - or saying - anything about them. They'll wear what they like and say what they like. They're not rude or pushy, simply children like children should be.

That's what I want, and I wish I could have. Envy, not jelously I'd call this - because I'm envious of their simple life but I'm not jealous because I know it wouldn't suit me. I'm grateful for the friends I have, because they're amazing people, but I'm not grateful for the way everything seems to be high school politics in my social circle.

JH isn't part of my 'social group' but she knows alot about it, so whenever I hang out with her, it's a relief. I can get away from the politics, or let out all my 'political worries' to her and she will just agree and understand.

I didn't know where this was going when I started writing it, I don't know where it's gone, and it probably sounds like a big fat mess. But I'm glad I wrote it, now it's off my chest.

- FQ x